2009

WOW...2009!!! I cannot believe we are now 9 years into the 2000's. It genuinely feels like days ago that Y2K was all abuzz. Would the world's computers crash, clocks stop, life as we know it come to an end? As we all know, none of the above happened, and life continued without major catastrophe. Having said that, I also think back to the days leading up to the turn of the century. Did we have any idea what was in store over the years that would follow? As the saying goes, "Hindsight is 20/20". What would America be like if 9-11 never happened. Would we remain a global giant, or would something else as equally devastating overtake us? If we only knew what was about to happen, what would we do to prepare our families, our minds, and our hearts? If we only knew!

Living in a decade consumed by war, economic crises, erratic gas prices, and overall uncertainty, I have reached one conclusion. God is the only constant. No matter what lies ahead or how difficult life becomes, He has a plan. It is easy to live in fear over political affairs, who the president is/is not, and the state of the economy. I cannot remember a time when life was more unnerving. My faith is only renewed through Christ, who gives me strength. I pray that He can be real in your life too. I do not want to sound preachy, but he has seen me through so much in my short 31 years. He hasn't failed me yet; and, his word tells me that he NEVER fails. What we are facing as a nation today is nothing to Him. He will take care of us!!

I am excited for a new year. There are things that concern me, but God is in control. Life is good. I hope and pray that you make 2009 a year to remember!
God Bless!
Brandi

Christmas 2008

This quite possibly goes down as one of the busiest holiday seasons we've had in recent memory. We had five different stops...would have been six, but we were under the weather the day of one of them. I must say, we have experienced a lot this year and have so much to be thankful for. God continues to show his love for us everyday. Enjoy a few of the pictures from some of our festivities.
God Bless!
Brandi

BTW-I am believing in great things for the new year. May you experience health, happiness, and peace of mind in 2009.

One Year Ago

I have been very slow about getting my holiday pictures uploaded. That is just one of the many tasks I am slacking at this season! Christmas break should be a time to rest, but we have had a function to go to everyday. I will try to get them up in the next couple of days. Until then, we wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR, from our home to yours!!
God Bless!
Brandi

Enjoy these pictures of Lauren from one year ago. They were all taken in December 2007. I cannot believe how she has changed. Much of the baby pudge is gone, she is a head taller, but she still loves sweets as much as she did then!! Wow, how a year changes everything!

Christmas Goodies for Kids

While surfing the net this morning, I stumbled across Home and Garden's website, dreamsalivemagazine.com. They have a link to Christmas recipes for kids. One that stuck out to me is Chocolate Popcorn. YUMM-O!!! It has very few ingredients and sounds super easy to make. Lauren and I might spend Tuesday morning making a batch. I'll try to post some pictures to share our fun experience with you.

CHOCOLATE POPCORN
**We might half the ingredients and do a smaller batch. This is a big recipe.**

Ingredients:

12 cups popped popcorn
2 1/2 cups salted peanuts
1 (11.5 ounce) package milk chocolate morsels
1 cup light corn syrup
1/4 cup butter or margarine


Directions:

Preheat oven to 300º F. Grease a large roasting pan. Line a large bowl with waxed paper.
Combine popcorn and nuts in greased roasting pan.
Combine morsels, corn syrup and butter in medium, heavy-duty saucepan.
Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture boils.
Pour over popcorn; toss well to coat.
Bake, stirring frequently, for 30 to 40 minutes.
Cool slightly in pan; remove to bowl lined with wax paper.
Store in airtight container for up to two weeks.

2 Down..3 More to Go

The Styles household is crazy busy this week. We only have 3 more school days before Christmas break. That is exciting, but I have so much left to do. Grades are due by Friday afternoon. That is a never-ending mound of paperwork. Thursday and Friday will be spent having Christmas parties and AR celebrations. Wow...I dread it...sad but true. I'll update as life slows a little. Until then, Merry Christmas from our home to yours!!
God Bless,
Brandi

Reflection, Loss, and Moving On

I got up early this morning, attempting to beat the Christmas rush to town. Much to my dismay, every other shopper in North Alabama had the same idea. At least I should have my list complete well before the Christmas Eve madness.

Of the many items I purchased this morning, one bears great sentimental value to me. I'll explain more as you read. Most of you are aware that Chris and I suffered a personal loss in July. We were pregnant with our second child, only to miscarry at 6 or so weeks along. This was/is a devastating loss to us, as it was a planned pregnancy and something we never thought we would face. For those of you that have been down this road before, you can relate and know the struggles that accompany this type of death. Yes, death! It is heart breaking and so misunderstood. I in no way equate an early miscarriage to a late-term miscarriage or infant/child death. However, it is extremely heart breaking and is not something I have very easily moved passed.

My heart aches everyday to some degree. It is now five months later, and I still have days that sadness completely consumes me. I still go through periods of various emotions; anger, despair, frustration, and sadly bitterness at times. Having said that, I must emphasize that Chris and I are coping and have done remarkably well considering the magnitude of our personal tragedy, not to mention the other difficult circumstances this year (moved into a new home, sick family members, death of a grandparent). Chris often tells me that I missed my calling. I could be an award winning actress for the "show" I can put on. By this, he simply means I am the queen of putting on a happy face and covering up my feelings. I do not like to show emotions in public. If I do, things must be completely falling apart because that is just not how I am. I say this to explain that while I am striving daily to move on and get beyond my loss, I do still ache for my child that I never got to hold. We never got an ultrasound picture; we never heard the first heartbeat; we don't know the gender of the baby; but, we love him/her/them very much.

As I stated earlier, if you have walked in our shoes, you know how I feel. I never understood miscarriage and it's impacts before July 27, 2008. Now, it is a haunting reminder of how fragile life can be. I realize that people don't know what to say, and they often say things that are not the most appropriate. I have had to bite my tongue over the past few months at some of the comments I've received. When it comes right down to it, I realize that friends and family mean well, and they don't understand; thus, sometimes sarcastic comments or jokes are said with the best of intentions. But, to someone dealing with a loss it becomes alcohol to a wound. It was real to us and nothing can change that. I do not hold anger toward anyone that has made a "silly" comment. I have most likely been in the same boat before, not knowing how to act or what to say. Having said that, we have also received much encouragement, prayers, and understanding from so many. If you see us, it is okay for you to ask us how we are doing. Yes, I still hurt, but I would rather my baby be remembered, than never talked about at all. Technically we are a family of 3, but in my heart, we are truly a family of 4. Our youngest is playing, dancing, singing, and growing up in the most Holy of Holies. It is so hard for me to even fathom that my little angel is being raised by Jesus. I cannot begin to express the peace I feel as I write those words. Tears are pouring from my eyes, but I am blessed having known the child of my womb for the short time that was given. For that, I am truly grateful!!

Earlier in the post, I mentioned that we have very few tangible reminders of the baby. Chris and I have discussed what we could do to commemorate the little one. Since it is Christmas time, I can think of no better way than to add an ornament to our tree that honors and celebrates the memory. I stopped at Lifeway Christian Store this morning and selected a beautiful silver angel. It is a mother holding a heart in her hands. It reminds me that even though I cannot hold this precious child in my arms, I will always hold him/her in my heart. Life will go on, and by the grace of God we will be given another child or children; but, our baby that would have been due in March 2009 will forever be with us. We will NEVER forget you!!

Thanks for bearing with me as I reflect. It is my hope and prayer that the next time I post about the baby, it will be that Lauren and our Little Angel are having a new brother or sister. God Bless and Merry Christmas!
Brandi

BTW...feel free to comment. I would love to hear from some readers!!!

Tis the Season

....to be busy!! Between finishing up the first semester of school, Chris preparing for his school Christmas concert, parties, and shopping, we are a little on the overworked side. I will update soon! There is so much to talk about, but until then, I leave you with a MERRY CHRISTMAS.
God Bless!
Brandi